Go to Your Room and Make Art

Typically, and fortunately, I don’t often hear voices in my head. But whenever I sit down to draw or paint, hoo boy, there’s a snarky voice telling me I’m so bad at art, it’s not worth trying. As I bring the pen toward the sketchbook, I can hear it shouting, “Wait, stop, no! Spare the paper!”

But then I remember a finger painting from my childhood that my parents saved. The paint was a hearty orange (even then, a favorite color), and there was no rhyme or reason to the swirls, just beautiful little-kid energy.

I was probably four when I made it. Did that four year old have a critic in his head? Did he hesitate for even a second and worry about how it would look? Of course not. He stuck his fingers in the paint pot and went to town on the paper and probably his clothes.

As an adult, I have long been surrounded by art and artists. My wife is an artist and her mother was an art teacher and award-winning watercolorist. I count many artists among my friends. Visiting galleries and museums and attending openings are some of my favorite things to do. And while it’s clear that I have no natural drawing skills (unlike, say, muralist Diego Rivera, whose prodigy was evident at age three), I have always wanted to be able to capture my adventures in pen, pencil, and paint.

But you have to do it. That’s the thing, you have to do it. And after years (decades) of whining that I wanted to be able to draw, I’m doing it: drawing and painting. My linework shows no confidence, my perspective is way off, and the idea of drawing a human figure scares me. There is nothing accomplished about anything I’ve drawn or painted. But I’m plowing ahead by reminding myself why I want to make art.

It’s not to be a fine artist or show off my art. No, it’s to create a different relationship with the things I see. It’s to study and get to know the world in a more intimate way, to create work that triggers memories, and to step outside the for-me comfortable arts of writing and photography. I want to create art because it’s hard and I want to get better at it, I want more of that creative flow state that arises when you’re surfing right-brain vibes, and I want to make drawings and paintings that are pleasurable to create and view years down the road.

Nowhere in there is room for ego. And honestly, even technical skills aren’t important. Of course I want my art to look more stylistic or realistic. But I’m sharing it with you in an effort not to care, or be bound by expectations, but to encourage you (and myself) to do the only thing that matters: the thing you want to do but scares you. Who cares how it looks, or how you look doing it? It’s the doing that counts.

PS: If you want to draw or paint and like me are tripping over yourself, I highly recommend TobySketchLoose on Instagram, whose tutorials can unlock your stuckness.